#16- "Godzilla vs Gigan" (1972)

Godzilla vs Gigan slots in at a deserving 16th place in the countdown, and it is your classic tag team monster battle of the 70's. With strong hippy themes, not much stands out in this movie other than the introduction of a new adversary for Godzilla, the green skinned, razor bladed, bird like Gigan, who would make another appearance in the following year's film Godzilla vs Megalon. The movie starts with a cartoonist searching for a job, which leads him to World Children's Land, a themepark in the making featuring a massive life size model of Godzilla himself. However, WCL isn't all it's cracked up to be, as the main character and cartoonist Gendo and his group of investigators discover the owners of WCL are actually alien cockroaches from a far away dying planet, cleverly named Space Hunter Nebula-M. The aliens plan to colonize Earth and summon forth Gigan and King Ghidorah, who land nearby WCL. Godzilla and Anguirus arrive and the two duos do battle. However, the Godzilla tower turns the tide of battle with its special weapon, a ray beam that resembles Godzilla's. Godzilla gets beat up pretty bad in this one. Gigan draws blood multiple times using his stomach buzz blade to cut Godzilla's shoulder, and in another scene Gigan punches Godzilla between the eyes enough to bloody his face. It almost appears as though Godzilla will lose until Gendo and his group destroy the Godzilla tower, allowing Godzilla to recover and form a plan of attack with Anguirus that quickly dispatches Gigan and King Ghidorah, who flee back into space once again. This movie is entertaining through and through, and doesn't disappoint by any means, but it would've been nice to see Anguirus and King Ghidorah do more on the battle field; they basically just watch Gigan and Godzilla fight. Gendo's idea to destroy the Godzilla tower is way too over the top, in that he quickly draws up a massive sketch of himself and the group holding guns and tapes it up over some TNT, so that when the aliens open a door they are startled and shoot the fake people, exploding their own base. Gendo's investigator assistant eats corn on the cob in one scene and bananas in another, passing them out like candy. Another scene worth mentioning and one that is quite interesting is in the English dubbed VHS, there are three scenes where Godzilla and Anguirus actually talk with words to each other. Once on Monster Island where Godzilla tells Anguirus to go investigate the WCL, again as they swim towards Japan, and a third time during battle. It sounds like scratchy reverse played tape recording noises mixed with rough sounding English voices. This is the only time Godzilla actually talks in any movie. With a memorable final battle, Godzilla vs Gigan does just enough to satisfy any Godzilla fan, in special effects, characters, and story.

Gigan beats down Godzilla with his large talons.

Corn on the Cob was popular on the go back in the day apparently.

#17- "Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla" (1994)

The first Heisei era Godzilla film of the countdown, 1994's Godzilla vs Space Godzilla is a somewhat lackluster film depicting the battle between Godzilla and basically his clone from space. First off, Heisei era refers to the series of 90's Godzilla films that are widely regarded as the best cluster of Godzilla movies thus far. They are all very good and entertaining, with the exception of this one, which is why it is the obvious choice for the worst of the Heisei era. The Showa era is from the original movie in 1954 to 1975. And the Millennial era obviously refers to Godzilla 2000 and beyond. Back to Space Godzilla, the reason it is so low on the list for a Heisei era film is the film's make shift plot and pacing. Almost nothing happens except a big monster fight at the end. In the beginning, there are two programs taking place that contrast one another and create conflict in the core group of characters. One program, Project T, seeks to control Godzilla telepathically, the other seeks to kill him. Project T is semi successful but literally doesn't factor into the final conflict of the film whatsoever. G vs SG gets off to a decent start, with an interesting island scene where the two projects and the group of characters conflict. The character Yuki, who is dead-set on killing Godzilla as revenge for one of his fallen comrades, is one of my favorite Godzilla characters in any movie ever. He is funny, but also very intent on his goals, and the scene where he crawls up next to Godzilla as he roams across a beach is widescreen brilliance. This island scene also features an awesome panoramic shot of Godzilla entering shallower water with his far off roar. It is beautiful. I also get chills when Godzilla rises up out of the water for the first time. All this aside, the island scenes linger on a little too long, culminating in Space Godzilla arriving and defeating Godzilla, while imprisoning Little Godzilla, who is a cute and chubby lizard resembling Godzilla, a larger version of the Baby Godzilla seen in the earlier film Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2 from 1993. Space Godzilla was formed by a long process from events in earlier movies, but basically a Godzilla cell gets morphed with a diamond material in a black hole and spits out Space Godzilla, whose only intent is to return to Earth, but not before defeating the robot Moguera in a deep space fight that can only be described as terrible looking. Moguera has my vote for worst robot ever in a G movie. Even though the robot harkens back to an earlier Toho creation, it just looks silly in an up to date movie such as this one, and even though it and its pilots help Godzilla to defeat Space Godzilla, Godzilla destroys it anyways, thankfully. Godzilla and Space Godzilla duke it out in Fukuoka in a generally monotone fight. The two monsters rarely exchange blows, opting for a ranged battle instead, until Godzilla destroys SpaceGodzilla's power crystals around the city and blasts the alien clone with a supercharged red atomic beam. At this point in the movie, you're almost glad it's over, because it's so drawn out. Lots of scenes are unnecessary and don't expand on the action happening, or don't hit you with anything unexpected. Godzilla wins, Space Godzilla loses, man loses machine, Little Godzilla is freed, both projects fail, end credits. I think this was an awesome idea for a Godzilla movie, but it would've been better had it come earlier in the Heisei era I think. A new Godzilla movie had come out each year before this one since 1991, and I think it may have been a matter of exhaustion for Toho. Space Godzilla at some points of the film is made out to be the ultimate adversary for Godzilla, since they are the same, yet you never get a feeling of how bad he is or of a personality for the beast at all. These critiques in mind, the movie does have great special effects (the occasional obvious wire withstanding) and some awesome shots of Godzilla, such as the previously mentioned island landfall scene, another where he walks through Kagoshima bay, and several other scale scenes where Godzilla is pictured next to large buildings or mountains. It looks real, as if you were actually standing there watching Godzilla stroll past you.

Space Godzilla attacks Godzilla.

Moguera tries to attack Space Godzilla in Fukuoka.

#18- "Ebirah, Horror of the Deep/ Godzilla vs The Sea Monster" (1966)

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep can best be described as just a fun Godzilla adventure. It has a very nostalgic feel for me, similar to Megalon, because it too was one of the first Godzilla movies I had ever seen, and it has just an entertaining feel to it, with a fresh setting on tropical infant island. The movie starts with a quest to find Ryota's lost brother Yata, who was lost at sea. This brings Ryota and two comrades to infant island, where they are attacking by a monstrous lobster named Ebirah, who guards the island. They wash ashore and commence finding Yata, who is held captive by an evil corporation calling themselves the Red Bamboo, who use this yellow liquid to keep Ebirah at bay. The group stumbles upon a slumbering Godzilla, and they use a lightning rod to shock the Big G awake, who immediately attacks Ebirah. Ebirah retreats and Godzilla gets into a battle with a giant condor and some Red Bamboo jets, but easily dispatches them. After this, Godzilla destroys the Red Bamboo base, which starts a self destruct sequence. The native islanders summon Mothra to help them escape as Godzilla beats Ebirah in a second battle by ripping both of its claws off. The islanders escape as Mothra carries them away in a make shift hot air balloon basket, and despite Godzilla trying to attack Mothra for a second, the group including Yata cheers as Godzilla dives into the ocean and escapes the massive explosion. Apparently, the original idea for this movie included King Kong as the main monster, instead of Godzilla. For whatever reason, Toho changed this idea to Godzilla but left some characteristics of King Kong in the movie, such as the lightning awakening, which was shown to be a trait of Kong's in Godzilla vs King Kong. But as I said before, Godzilla vs the Sea Monster is an enjoyable Godzilla entry; very fun to watch.

I like my lobster steam boiled, not irradiated Godzilla.



Godzilla escapes just before infant island explodes.

#19- "Godzilla vs Megalon" (1973)

In my haste to rank the Godzilla Movies, I have made several mistakes, and have done my best to correct them along the way, but this one takes the cake I think. My initial rankings had Megalon as high as 15th or 16th on the list mainly due to the nostalgia of the movie, as it was probably one of the first three Godzilla movies I had ever watched as a kid. However, re-watching it now, I realize that I messed up with this ranking. Hopefully this doesn't sacrifice the legitimacy of the entire countdown for my readers, but this movie should realistically be ranked around 25 or 26. Yes, it's that bad. The plot is ramshackle, with an emphasis on underground nuclear testing disturbing an Atlantis-esque society hidden from our view deep beneath the surface of the Earth. Their leader is a hairy chested white guy who leads a cult following of dancing girls who appear to wear giant oversized condoms on their heads. This underground society releases Megalon to the surface, to destroy the world and punish us for our irresponsible ways. Thrown into this mix is a trio of characters, 2 guys who appear to be best friends, a young boy, probably one of the twos son. They live in a technologically advanced house where everything appears as buttons and gizmos and they have a robot named Jet Jaguar, pictured above, who can increase his size magically and fly like superman. Megalon destroys some stuff, Jet Jaguar goes and gets Godzilla from monster island, and they return to fight Megalon, who gets some help from Gigan. The action is actually good once you get to the final battle, and that is what sticks most memorably in my mind. To me, that doesn't drag the movie down, it's the horrid dubbing, characters, and pacing of the film that makes it tough to watch. It takes Godzilla forever to arrive and help, he's pretty much only in the final battle at the end of the movie. It's tough to write so critically about this film since it's one of my childhood favorites, and that I've ranked it higher than it actually should be, so here are some reasons why it can stand its ground this high on the list. Godzilla is in his purest form in terms of being a hero and appealing to children. When he shows up to help Jet Jaguar, you can't help but cheer. Jet Jaguar is an awesome side kick for the Big G even though he might be a rip off of Ultraman. Gigan is a cool bad guy to pair with Megalon, and the tag team final battle is enjoyable. Godzilla unleashes this awesome tail slide kangaroo kick late in the battle while Jet Jaguar holds down Megalon, one of his fanciest moves. Also, the scenes where Jet Jaguar and Godzilla interact are awesome, culminating in a handshake between the two once the Earth is saved. I would venture to say that for any kid, this Godzilla movie would be a lot higher on the countdown due to its emphasis towards their enjoyment, but for an adult it falls far short. You don't even know what the hell these bad guys are doing as they keep invading the toy house where the guys made Jet Jaguar. Because of these two dramatically different spectrums, Megalon can fit right in reasonably at #19, shading towards the lower end of the countdown.

For whatever reason, a movie poster for Godzilla vs Megalon depicts the monsters fight on top of the World Trade Center.

The famous Godzilla tail slide attack.

#20- "Invasion of Astro Monster" (1965)

 

The sequel to Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster, Invasion of Astro Monster is another classic Toho Monster Movie, and one on a grander scale than it's predecessor. The Astro Monster is of course, King Ghidorah, who returns from space under the control of the Xilians from newly discovered Planet X, which orbits Jupiter. They refer to Ghidorah as Monster Zero. The plot is actually quite ambitious, cultivating a worldwide conflict with the Aliens as they seek to take over Earth and it's large water reserves. By tricking the humans into letting them bring Godzilla and Rodan to Planet X to fend off King Ghidorah, the Xilians take over the Earth Monsters and send them back to Earth to reek havoc with Ghidorah. The only way we manage to break the hold the Xilians have on the monsters is through a toy one of the characters has made, which emits a piercing noise or frequency the Xilians can't stand. Their control over the monsters gone, Godzilla and Rodan return to themselves and battle King Ghidorah. Godzilla's transition to a friendlier monster is evident in Astro Monster, as he appears to box at Ghidorah, dances around, and even does a victory celebration after defeating Ghidorah on Planet X. Even with this less than ferocious Godzilla present, Ghidorah doesn't stand a chance, and once the Earth Monsters are back to themselves they take out the Astro Monster all too quickly. Rodan picks up Godzilla and flies the King of the Monsters into Ghidorah, knocking all three off a cliff. Ghidorah retreats to space once again, but Godzilla and Rodan never surface. Invasion of Astro Monster is a solid Godzilla movie. Some of the dubbing is a little corny and doesn't sound quite right, but that is forgivable. There is a segment of the movie that shows monster destruction for an extended period, trying to put across the point that the Earth is in trouble, and this segment is welcomed although the actual monster battles are quite quick. Ghidorah is defeated on Planet X and Earth in around 5 minutes combined probably. This allows for a lot of Segway between these monster scenes, but they aren't boring by any means. Another point of interest is the strange role played by women in this movie. On one end, it seems female characters are not trusted and male characters are actually mean to them. The Xilian females are all clones and follow direct orders from male Xilians. But on the other end of the spectrum, they are given prominent roles in the film and there is even mentioning of a women's union of rights or something in the Japanese council. There's even a kissing scene, the only one ever seen in a Japanese produced G-Film. It's a very strange contrast. Invasion of Astro Monster slots in at a deserving 20th place. Check out the awesome link under the pictures as well.

Rodan and Godzilla body smash Ghidorah off a cliff.

Godzilla celebrates his 2nd victory over Ghidorah on Planet X.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTkvsbeTiH0&index=23&list=FL84pUYm049Tkj_EnY9mItyg

 

#21- "Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla" (2002)

The prequel movie to Tokyo S.O.S, GaMG finds itself one slot higher on the list only because this movie is almost exactly the same as Tokyo S.O.S, minus Mothra and some modifications to Kiryu. The suits are the exact same, the sets and style of the film are the exact same, the CGI scenes are noticeably bad, and so is the acting. Despite that, I give it the higher nod over Tokyo S.O.S due to the originality of the piece, in bringing back a famous nemesis of Godzilla's in Mechagodzilla, who is now created using the skeleton of the original Godzilla from 1954 as the framework for Japan's latest method to combat Godzilla. GaMG could be viewed as the sequel to the original movie though, because once Godzilla makes landfall, he is unrecognized by the Japanese until some older folk recognize it's the same creature from before. Kind of an interesting twist, but it's going good so far. But then, Japan decides the most likely way to destroy this new reincarnation of The Big G is by manufacturing their own steel version. The latest over the top piece of weaponry designed for Godzilla in this movie is Kiryu's main weapon, the Absolute Zero Cannon, which as its name implies, turns whatever it hits to the coldest possible temperature imaginable. It's a neat idea because when you really think about it, it might work to defeat the King of the Monsters, because I don't think anything can survive such temperatures. But actually employing the idea outside of a super advanced lab, in a weaponized form, and at a large scale such as Godzilla's is another thing entirely. Kiryu goes berserk when it confronts Godzilla for the first time and hears Godzilla's roar, triggering something in the skeleton that makes up the robot. The out of control Mechagodzilla lays waste to Japan before it runs out of power, prompting the world to question the method of defense Japan has chosen. In the final battle between Kiryu and Godzilla, Kiryu actually gains the upper hand before once again short circuiting. The main character of the movie, Akane, manually pilots Kiryu from there on out, flying Godzilla out to sea with Kiryu before firing the Absolute Zero Gun at point blank range. The massive splash made by the falling monsters is frozen before cracking to pieces, but Godzilla quickly rises from the depths, his chest gorily ripped open from the impact. Kiryu is severely damaged but Godzilla retreats into the ocean.  There is a very strong message of female power in this movie, channeled through Akane, who is constantly approached by a widowed scientist named Tokumitsu, who has a lone daughter. The daughter carries around a plant which reminds her of her mother. The scenes in which Tokumitsu attempts to flirt with Akane are actually quite funny, albeit corny, especially when the daughter Sara exposes her fathers blatant advances. All in all, it's a nice little story when you consider the love-interest subplot for Akane and Tokumitsu, especially with the sense of family it creates, and the action scenes are great. Mechagodzilla and Godzilla both look fantastic, but there is just a poor sense of believability in the plot at times, and especially in the acting. That being said, this may be one of the more successful Godzilla movies, especially of the millennial series, taking in around 16 million dollars in Japan.

Berserk Kiryu finally shuts down.

As Godzilla breaks out of the ice, we can clearly see his massive chest wound, which is present in Tokyo S.O.S although relatively healed by then.

#22- "Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S" (2003)

The 27th installment of the original Godzilla series comes in at 25th best overall in my Godzilla countdown. The sequel to the previous film "Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla", Tokyo S.O.S brings back the same Godzilla suit and Mecha G suit, and introduces Mothra once again into the mix. While the special effects in this movie are fantastic, you can't help but notice how bad the CGI scenes are, especially for a millennial series film. The pacing of the film is generally lackluster, and it's very hard to get into a grove with the main character, a brunette nerd who has a special connection to Mechagodzilla, which is called Kiryu in the movie. That being said, Godzilla looks great. His chest is scabbed over with a large scar from his previous run in with Kiryu in the last movie; a touch that hasn't gone unnoticed, and Kiryu has my vote for the best looking Mechagodzilla rendering thus far. Mothra's wings actually appear to hold the creature airborne; in films past, flying creatures tend to just glide endlessly or flap clearly prostrate wings once and a while. This Mothra can buffet Godzilla with wind blasts that actually look really good. So with all these positive points in mind, how does Tokyo S.O.S fall so far on the countdown? It's an issue of plot for me here. As legendary a matchup as Mothra vs Godzilla is, it just doesn't seem believable that the flying insect would last more than a minute against this beefed up badass version of Godzilla, especially once the two larvae Mothra's appear and harmlessly bite Godzilla's tail or cover him in Moth splooge. On top of this, Kiryu is a machine, and machine's can never beat Godzilla. They malfunction. They go haywire. Kiryu is still badass, but only for small periods of time before it runs out of energy or goes into it's berserk Godzilla stage (since it is made out of the skeleton of the original Godzilla, when Godzilla roars, this organic aspect of Kiryu awakens and takes control over the Robot instead of the pilot). Once Godzilla makes it to land, he doesn't leave for the rest of the movie, and once Mothra is knocked out, we wait for Kiryu, who gets knocked out, while we wait for the Larvae, who get knocked out, before Mothra returns to get knocked out, before Kiryu flies Godzilla out to sea in a less than spectacular ending. It's kind of boring. A great premise, but one that was not executed as effectively as it could have been. An interesting scene to note here, early in the film, a massive turtle washes up on the beach with bite marks on its neck, signaling to Japan that Godzilla is still alive out in the ocean. This could possibly be a Gamera knock by the Big G himself, adding some debate to the age old question, who would win in a fight: Godzilla or Gamera? Godzilla takes the victory here.

Kiryu attacks Godzilla
 

Mothra looks great, but can't hold a finger to Godzilla in Tokyo S.O.S

 

#23- "Godzilla Final Wars" (2004)

This is by far the most ambitious Godzilla movie ever made, but that doesn't mean it's the best either. The most recent Godzilla movie of the original series, Final Wars sought to bring back a plethora of monsters for Godzilla to fight from his past battles, in celebration of his 50th anniversary, in an epic and apocalyptic monster mayhem movie extravaganza. Some will be shocked to see I have it ranked so low, and honestly, the reason I have it this high in my own countdown is basically due to the movies hilariously over the top and ridiculous themes, which I will point out with time. Firstly, Godzilla was redesigned again for this film. Toho returned him to his most massive size, at one hundred meters tall, but cut down his bulk, making him appear slimmer, more agile and fit, and giving him a thinner snout. In the movie's opening sequence, we learn that Godzilla has been trapped in a glacier in Antarctica by the Earth Defense Force (EDF), a group of super humans called mutants, who use super advanced military tactics and fighting styles to combat Earth's monster horde. These mutants are literally characters stolen from the Matrix series, with the main character of the movie basically being Neo. It's so stupidly obvious that the Matrix trilogy was channeled into Final War's vision, that it almost seems criminal. There's a highway chase scene in slow-mo where bullets fly past the character's heads. Then Neo wins with a nose-wheelie tire slap to the face. Moving on, suddenly some aliens show up and capture all the other monsters running amuck around the world, seemingly saving the globe as the EDF is stretched thin. Among these monsters is Anguirus, Ebirah, Rodan, King Ceaser, Kamacuras, Kumonga, and Zilla, the lizard that attacked New York which is in the #30 entry in the countdown. The EDF kills Ebirah the sea monster in an explosive battle, but these new aliens take out the rest. So through some slow scenes, we figure out the Aliens plan to release the monsters on the globe to cause chaos so they can collect us humans and use us for food (humans are referred to as cattle by the aliens several times, even in corny insults towards the main characters). One unit of EDF survives the carnage as the world is taken over. Led by former UFC champ Don Frye, an American man who was a successful wrestler in Japan, the group decides to awaken Godzilla from his icy tomb, because the Aliens don't know about him and he is the strongest, he can save the world. Don Frye literally is the worst actor ever. The other 4 worst actors ever are also present in this film, including the guy who basically plays Neo. Godzilla is awoken and quickly destroys this awesome new reimagining of Gigan, then follows the EDF ship through a monster fighting bash back to Tokyo. Godzilla kills Zilla in Sydney, Australia without breaking a sweat, kills Kamacuras, throws Kumongo like 50 miles away somewhere, knocks out Rodan, Anguirus, and King Ceaser with some flashy agile moves, all before confronting the Alien Mothership with the EDF. This is where Star Wars is brought into the movie. There is a ridiculous aerial battle where lasers and shit fly everywhere, culminating in one character flying deep into the mothership, exactly like the Death Star, to destroy it's shield generator. This part is so obvious, you may as well call that character Han Solo for all I care. Suddenly, an Asteroid hits Godzilla and blossoms into Monster X, this new, scary looking black and white beast that beats up Godzilla in this apocalyptic setting. Gigan joins the battle, but Mothra kills herself and Gigan in a suicide dive. It could probably be assumed most people around the globe are dead by now. Then Monster X morphs into "Keizer Ghidorah" a new reimaging of King Ghidorah, which nearly kills Godzilla. Apparently Keizer is literally another way of saying "The chosen one" from the matrix, because we learn the Neo character in Final Wars is a Keizer, along with the Alien Leader, who battle it out on the mother ship while Godzilla and Ghidorah go at it. I'm not making any of this up. As if it could get any better, our Neo- Keizer character stops a barrage of bullets with his hands to the complete and utter surprise of his comrades, as Don Frye looks on with an unsheathed samurai sword. Non stop action commences and Neo ends up transferring his Keizer powers to a nearly defeated Godzilla, reinvigorating the monster who throws Ghidorah into the air, then uses a spinning red colored atomic beam to blast the 3 headed monster into space. Godzilla then destroys the mother ship and the alien threat is defeated, but it doesn't stop there. Godzilla tries to finish off Don Frye and the EDF, as Don Frye cocks the Samurai Sword over his head in a defensive stance, as if that would save him from Godzilla. However, Minilla shows up and stops Godzilla just in time and we suddenly figure out why Minilla was in the entire movie, because a lot of the time you wonder what the fuck do we keep cutting to Minilla for? All in all, this movie would be one of the worst on the list, but it's so jokingly bad that it's funny to watch. It's such a shame this is what we were left with for 10 years before the release of Godzilla 2014, and I just hope and pray that someday Toho takes the initiative and makes a new series of Godzilla movies, because if this was their last gasp, then it's one of the great disappointments of my life without doubt.

Keizer Neo stops bullets. Don Frye still unimpressed.
 

Notice any similarities?
 

Don Frye
 

Monster X lifts up Godzilla by the wrists...

#24- "Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster" (1964)

This is a classic monster mash up from the early goings of Japanese monster films, and also one of the first to humanize Godzilla and the other monsters into friendlier characters. The most lasting impact from Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster is the movie's namesake creature being introduced. Ghidorah (Ghee- Door- Uh), also known as King Ghidorah or Ghidrah in other Godzilla films, would go on to make several more appearances as Godzilla's primary antagonist in future films, and popularity poles have often times shown that King Ghidorah is Godzilla's most beloved enemy in the eyes of the fans. He really is an iconic bad guy in the Godzilla series. Ghidorah comes to Earth after destroying Venus in the original Japanese release, and from Mars in the American redubbing, making Ghidorah Godzilla's first interstellar foe. Despite not having arms, Ghidorah usually whoops Godzilla's ass, especially in this movie where it took the combined might of Godzilla along with Larval Mothra and Rodan to drive Ghidorah back into space. In the movie, Godzilla and Rodan quarrel together (this was also the first movie to depict Godzilla and Rodan in the same film universe) after awakening and destroying parts of Japan. Mothra comes to separate the two monsters in a very corny attempt to personify the beasts as being sentient and able to understand that man hates monsters, so monsters hate man. Ghidorah later beats up on Mothra in a one sided battle, prompting Godzilla and Rodan to join the fray to defend their valiant counterpart. Ghidorah flees after Godzilla pushes him off a cliff, and the Earth monsters celebrate successfully defending Earth for the first time. Little did they know, Ghidorah would be back all too soon. It's not that this movie is bad, since I've ranked it so low, but that I would prefer to watch twenty three other Godzilla films instead, due to this films generally generic structure and fight scenes. Nonetheless, it is a memorable Godzilla movie.

The Earth Monsters assault Ghidorah from all sides.

 

#25- "King Kong vs Godzilla" (1962)

 

Some of you may be surprised by this ranking. This is the only matchup of the two greatest and most legendary movie monsters of all time, so how could it possibly be so low on my countdown? Well, it's not that the battles between the two monsters are bad, it's more that the plot to this Godzilla movie is literally tacked together worse than any other G-movie. As the third movie in the original series, and the first to portray Godzilla in color, the movie followed the happenings of the previous movie Godzilla Raids Again, in that Godzilla awakens from inside an iceberg and begins heading towards Japan once again. The reason I say the story is so tacked together is because there is a clearly evident plot device revolving around a satellite and the news media. I'll use an example from the movie. Godzilla awakens from the iceberg and the next scene is a news cast, informing the world via satellite (which were brand spanking new at the time) that Godzilla was marching on Japan once again. The next scene is Godzilla in Japan. King Kong wakes up as he is being brought to Japan by his entrepreneurial captors, and a newscast quickly informs us that Kong has made it ashore and is about to confront Godzilla. Cut to, Godzilla and Kong's first meeting. It's a poor way of getting right to the action, and while it may have been cutting edge in 1962, it doesn't work now. There is no rising tension, we simply see action and expository reflection of events by the characters. Now this is a lot of negative criticism of the movie, I know, but I am so critical of it all because a monster matchup of such gargantuan proportions such as this one should've been handled much more thoroughly. That being said, there are some bright points. As a child, this was probably one of the first three Godzilla films I had ever seen, so it will always have a nostalgic feel to me, especially when Kong fights the giant Octopus on the island and drinks the red berry juice. I love when Kong shoves the tree down Godzilla's throat, and also, Kong being able to summon electricity and power from lightning. That was a good way to beef up Kong in order to fight the King of the Monsters himself. And now for the infamous ending. Much debate has been sparked over the outcome of the final battle between King Kong and Godzilla, because there is no clear victor. After destroying Atami Castle, the two monsters tumble over a cliff side into the ocean. After a second underwater, Kong is seen swimming back towards his home on Faro Island. Godzilla never surfaces. To the un-trained eye, it would seem Kong was leaving the battle victorious, however, if you look a little closer, it is clear that Kong is actually retreating from Godzilla's wrath, as he realized The Big G would have a clear advantage in the water. Whatever the outcome, King Kong vs Godzilla needs a remake.

Kong uses a tree as a weapon against The Big G.
 

 

Godzilla and Kong prepare to destroy Atami castle.

 

 

#26- "Godzilla vs Megaguirus"- (2000)

Godzilla vs Megaguirus followed the successful Godzilla 2000 movie, but instead of building on that success, Megaguirus only muddied it. Seeking to expand into a new Godzilla series, the Megaguirus movie is set in an alternate universe where Japan is much more technologically advanced, and Godzilla hadn't attacked since the 60's following the banning of nuclear energy. However, when he does inevitably show up, Japan has its latest new ridiculous weaponry ready to combat The Big G: Dimension Tide, a black hole gun, mounted from a satellite with pinpoint accuracy, commandeered by the ludicrously titled "G- Graspers" organization (seriously?). When testing Dimension Tide, a dragonfly crosses the firing range and is sucked into a mini portal to another dimension, where it is mutated into Megaguirus. Megaguirus returns to our dimension through a wormhole, laying countless eggs around Japan that hatch into swarms of "Meganula" (pictured above attacking Godzilla). These lil bastards obscure the Dimension tides targeting systems from locking onto Godzilla, so the obvious choice would be to manually fire the weapon nearby the fighting monsters, right? Wrong. Apparently that idea was overlooked by the G- Graspers, because Godzilla escapes unscathed. They failed to Grasp him. The movie is ripe with horrid film mistakes, most notably being able to see the wires holding Megaguirus' wings up. There's a scene where wires pull Godzilla up so he is able to stand again, since the suit actor could not raise himself in the bulky confines of Godzilla. Also, Godzilla pulls out a new trick that we hadn't seen before, and likely will never see again: A flying belly flop! While Megaguirus may have had big ambitions, the movie falls far short, and the alternate Godzilla universe it sought to hash out was left abandoned. For a millennium series movie, this Godzilla movie was awful.

Megaguirus batters Godzilla in their final battle.

What Megaguirus saw before G belly flopped him into a sky scraper.

 

#27- "Godzilla vs The Smog Monster/Hedorah" (1971)

 

Coming in at number twenty seven, The Smog Monster is a bizarre and over the top flick featuring Humanity's latest self induced plight, Pollution in the form of a giant sludge monster named Hedorah or The Smog Monster. It takes several forms throughout the movie, but Godzilla defeats them all, culminating in a land battle out in the middle of literally no-where, in a grey and featureless landscape with some power lines running here and there. At this point in time, Godzilla was more of a humanitarian symbol than a menacing monster, and appealed far more towards children. This movie is case in point, except with a psychedelic theme that was no doubt influenced by the Hippy era of the time. The Smog Monster is hilariously entertaining, because it's just one of those movies where serious scenes are laughable, and the ridiculousness of everything shines brighter than the overall positive message of taking care of the Earth. Godzilla vs The Smog Monster is still a memorable movie in the series, and the message of trying to manage world pollution was one that was ahead of its time in many ways when this movie was released in 1971.

The Smog Monster in water form, clearly one of Toho's most bizarre creations.
 

One of the films most hilarious moments: Godzilla's sudden ability to fly using his atomic breath.



#28- "Godzilla Raids Again" (1955)

The sequel to the original Godzilla movie, Godzilla Raids Again is hardly the same as its terrifying and brilliant predecessor. The only other black and white depiction of Godzilla falls far short of the benchmark in monster movie mayhem that Godzilla (1954) set. A bit of a spoiler here, but the 1954 Godzilla was killed by Dr. Serizawa's oxygen destroyer weapon. So you may be wondering where in the hell this new Godzilla came from? It is said it was randomly awakened by more nuclear tests in the pacific, along with the new monster that would be pitted against The Big G, Anguirus, who would later reprise his role in the G series as Godzilla's main ally (despite Godzilla actually killing this version of Anguirus in the movie). Whatever the origin of this new Godzilla, he would go on to star in each successive G movie until 1975. When watching Godzilla Raids Again, you get the sense that Godzilla isn't actually playing the role of Godzilla, but rather just another Giant monster. The trademark Godzilla roar is lacking in this movie, replaced with more shrill and unpleasant monster screams. The American release of this movie was under the title "Gigantis, the fire monster." Clearly, Godzilla still hadn't become a household name yet, and this movie did little to cement that reality, with shoddy special effects, bad hand puppets, and a choppy plot. The G series could go nowhere but up from here.

This is what a Godzilla hand puppet looks like!

 

#29-" Son of Godzilla" (1967)

 

Son of Godzilla comes in as the worst movie of the original series in my countdown of the best Godzilla movies. It is literally about a tiny Godzilla looking creature that Godzilla basically adopts after saving it from some over grown praying mantises called Kamacuras. The creature, Minilla, is literally a baby Godzilla. He can shoot radioactive bubbles instead of a beam like Godzilla, and bears an upright stance and dorsal spines like the Big G, but despite all these similarities, it was never revealed by Toho if this Minilla creature was actually Godzilla's offspring. This has sparked much controversy as to whether Godzilla is male or female, and if there is another Godzilla to create the baby Minilla creature. Looking past this controversy, after saving Minilla once more from a giant spider named Kumonga, Godzilla and Minilla go into hibernation together when a group of scientists succeed in changing the island's weather, creating artificial snowstorm that freezes everything. Generally speaking, this movie is lackadaisical, but it does show an interesting development in the Godzilla series that would become quite prominent in the coming movies: Godzilla's transition to a childhood icon and a parenting figure. Even with this key ideal of the G franchise in mind, Son of Godzilla falls to 29th place in the rankings. Also, Godzilla looks retarded in this movie. It gets my vote for the worst Godzilla suit ever made.

Minilla looks like fusion between E.T. and a young Michael Jackson.

 

#30- "Godzilla" (1998)- Roland Emmerich's Debacle

Easily the worst movie to ever carry the name of the King of the Monsters, 1998's American Godzilla adaptation by Director and Co- writer Roland Emmerich has received the brunt of Godzilla fans most dire scrutiny. An enlarged and irradiated Iguana runs around in New York, eating fish, climbing instead of destroying buildings and bridges, and laying countless eggs in the subway system of the Big Apple, all the while dodging the Military's valiant attempts at chasing the beast until they finally employ some fighter jets, and 4 missiles to the neck puts down the less than fabulous reimagining of Godzilla. Personally, I don't consider this a Godzilla movie, but out of respect for the rest of the series, this had to be the scapegoat for the worst movie. Godzilla fans worldwide can agree with me that Emmerich's reimagining was a slap to the face of Toho's legendary series. Let's be fair here though and realize that "Zilla", as Toho renamed the creature from the 1998 movie, is just as much a victim as we audience members were. The real enemy is Roland Emmerich and his American design team. Cut Zilla some slack, it wasn't his fault his only purpose was to "wow" audiences with his speedy lizard form. Oh, and his fire breath. That was somewhat decently cool at least.

My complete Godzilla series countdown

An idea that came to me 29 days too late, I've decided to do a countdown of my favorite Godzilla movies, in order, from worst to first, with my final addition to the list being Godzilla 2014 which I will undoubtedly be analyzing and re-watching over and over in the coming weeks. I've always wanted to sort out every Godzilla movie in order and present my official analysis of each, so this is sort of a dream come true. Feel free to argue each entry; I'll be ranking each movie based on how much I favor the movie, but also keeping in mind the structure and plot of the movie, acting, and how memorable the Godzilla scenes are. With 30 movies to go through, this will be an on going project, but one that I will enjoy thoroughly, and I hope you do as well. Stay tuned for updates.